My Life Coaching Career

Child Abuse: Healing the Past

2011-05-18T14:22:00.001-04:00

My mentor and I were having a phone conversation a few days ago and we touched on the subject of child abuse and molestation.
I believe there's a part of our emotional self that remains at the age we were molested or abused, until somewhere in our lives we decide to heal that part of us. We somehow continue reenacting these unresolved issues in our relationships with other people.
It's unfortunate that many people go through their lives, all the way into adulthood and many even into old age, never telling anyone or even themselves that they carry this pain around. They suffer and many times create suffering for those they love because of unresolved childhood issues.
It takes a lot of self love and courage to do this work; we need to lovingly face our shame and release any guilt we may hold (from the false belief that we were responsible for the abuse).
Some may acknowledge that they've been abused and go through life blaming and accusing the one who did this to them. They are filled with resentment, anger and frustration. These may then turn into depression and anxiety. But they don't take the step further to free themselves of these toxic feelings. Forgiving ourselves and the molester or abuser is an important step in healing.

Once we decide we want to heal, it's best to experience this process with the support of a counselor or a life coach. It can be extremely scary to go back to that event in our lives, and we may want someone to hold our emotional space while we go through this. But the rewards are priceless.

Self Love is My Priority

2011-05-13T19:52:00.000-04:00

My mentor, Maia Berens, has taught me many lessons since we virtually met years ago. She came into my mind this morning as I was journaling about certain important lessons in my own life.

Maia has learned to work with certain health issues. She can eat anything and everything, but she shouldn’t. There are certain foods that create havoc in Maia’s body and make her feel uncomfortable. She’s chosen to care for herself by avoiding and substituting those foods vs. being careless and suffering the consequences.

Well, the lesson I have learned from Maia’s way of self care relates to my own issues with anxiety and depression. These conditions have accompanied me for most of my life. When life becomes stressful, they seem to invite themselves in and make way. These unwanted visitors are closely linked to my old thought patterns and self-image.

I don’t always care for myself and many times create havoc in my life because of the choices I make. And then, the visitors are back.

So I take responsibility for what happens to me. I know there are certain disciplines I need to practice daily and consistently in order to maintain balance and harmony in my life. Consistency and commitment to myself are key in remaining balanced. Because, it’s not that I don’t do what I need to do, I just do it some of the time. I grow more aware that loving myself is a moment to moment activity.

So, I commit to:

• Exercising regularly

• Enjoy Nature

• Be more present in each activity I undertake, no matter how common it is…such as washing the dishes.

• Daily spiritual practice: meditation, A Course in Miracles principles, prayer, attending my spiritual group, remaining connected to my coaching group, do reiki on myself

• Journaling, writing love letters….getting my feelings out of my system so they don’t accumulate inside

• Being very aware of what I really want, and not pleasing others overriding my own desires and preferences

• Taking time to rest and also enjoy life. Have more fun.

• Being aware of my thoughts and remaining focused on what is true and eternal

• Consciously breathing so my mental focus is clearer

Don’t get me wrong, I do most of these regularly, but not consistently, and not all of them. I have a tendency to get lost in my thoughts and in the doing. Like Maia, it’s a matter of making loving myself my upmost priority. My quality of life depends on it!!!

Relationship YOU

2011-05-11T18:53:00.000-04:00

As a YOU University Life Coach, I have the privilege of coaching clients through the Relationship YOU program.
My blog today is about my experience coaching two of my clients through Relationship YOU, each married for 30+ years. I am witnessing how a deeper understanding of their past choices and more clarity in their self-perception has motivated them to choose healthier behaviors with their partners today, and with other significant relationships in their lives. They have experienced wonderful results by following and applying the concepts in the program, most of all understanding that healthy relationships with others is a result of a healthy relationship with ourselves.
It would have been difficult for me to believe that one could make such changes in a long-term relationship. The testimonies of both these women are a confirmation that even after 30 years, love and willingness makes all the difference in the world!!

Is Self Employment the New Trend?

2011-05-03T19:28:00.000-04:00

Could it be that the new trend in business (for ex-employees) is self-employment? It may seem that way. Jobs are scarce. The economy is very unstable. Thousands of employees laid off and not finding jobs because so many jobs have been sent overseas.
So, is there a solution? All over the internet I find ads motivating people to return to college. Get an education!
I am in total agreement with ongoing learning. I love to learn. But, is all this attention on getting a college degree really the wisest route? Especially amidst our staggering economic situation? I don't get it.
Maybe the focus should be more on motivating people to embark in short-term careers, obtain certifications, learn technical skills. It's a much more affordable and realistic alternative. And, you may even create your own business vs. graduating from college to get a "job".
Who is behind all this insistance to getting a college education in order to land a better job (and huge debt)? Isn't it more practical to offer alternatives by educating and helping people open their own practice/business? Maybe, just maybe, jobs are taking the back seat to contractual, self-employment. I'm not saying here that this alternative doesn't already exist.....but it's not obvious. The college issue is.
As for me, last year I decided to expand my education in a different career and I became a certified YOU University Life Coach. Slowly but surely my coaching practice is growing. It's such a rewarding feeling to offer my services and skills helping others be the best they can be. And in exchange, create good income!!

Life Is Happening....Even When All Is Still

2011-04-27T08:36:00.000-04:00

Last week I was out researching prices and merchandise for an export business between my daughter and I. I stepped into one particular small clothing store. The owner and I started chatting. I told her what I was doing….one thing led to another and out of the blue (?) she asked me if I wanted to help her out two days a week at the store. I know absolutely nothing about sales, but this felt ok inside and part of a learning process that I need for later on in my journey.
So, yesterday I went for training. Because it’s something new, I felt awkward, but I was grateful to be out of the house and interacting with people. And learning.
I’m very involved and excited in expanding my life coaching practice, and I realize that this time in my life is about learning, absorbing, and connecting. I also feel there is a time to act, a time to rest, a time to be still and pay attention.
I have prayed and asked God for guidance in all my plans, and what I hear is that it’s time to listen…wait, and take guided steps. Impatience does creep in a lot, but Wisdom is knowing when to act and when to wait. So, even though a part of me wants to rush, and whispers that I should be doing this and doing that (many times comparing myself to others and feeling I “should” be moving at a faster speed), it’s not my path. Learning to follow my own pace is part of my learning. As Maia reminds me (and is one of the main tools in YOU University program)....LIFE IS A SCHOOL. And I'm paying attention.

On Guilt

2011-04-21T16:15:00.000-04:00

Ahhhh, guilt. Not a good friend; one who's accompanied me throughout most of my life. It made itself a permanent companion when I was just a little girl.
It took control of my self-perception. Guilt for being me. Guilt for making mistakes. Guilt for having dreams. Guilt for wanting to follow my own path and dance to my own music.
For years, I was held down by imposed roles to be a nice, good girl....woman....daughter....mother...wife....employee...the list goes on.
Today, I invited guilt to step aside. Even now, having walked a long path of self discovery, healing and forgiveness, guilt sometimes rears it's dirty and accusing presence into my awareness. Yes, I can feel it's dark energy around my stomach and pressure on my shoulders.
But, it's power over me is no more. I am conscious of its lies and am freer moment to moment from it's manipulative claws.
Guilt thrives and hides in our culture, religion, families and even among some of our friends. Come to think of it, society in general. The pressure and manipulation is there, wanting to control our thoughts, actions, and ultimately, our lives.
It has taken a lot of courage on my part and much inner work through the years to finally be able to say I've Got The Power. I take responsibility for my life, in my own terms. I owe no one anything. What I do I will do out of love and choice. Not from guilt and fear. No more!!! The chains are broken. Guilt steps aside, Love takes it's place!!! Inner peace is the result.

Taking Care of Ourselves is a Holistic Thing

2011-04-18T19:45:00.000-04:00

We are all holistic beings. We are not just a body, or a mind. We also are emotional, and spirit. We need to care for our whole being!!

Now, physically we:

Eat every day and nourish our body; we need to choose healthy foods in order for our body to function optimally
Exercise regularly to maintain flexibility, optimum blood flow, strengthen our muscles and create resistance
Rest to recharge our energy
Eliminate daily to release toxins
Drink a sensible amount of water to keep our body cleansed and hydrated

Yes, we need to also care for our emotional state. What happens when we eat too much? Indigestion. Or when we become careless in any of the above? Unbalance.

Well, it’s exactly the same principle when it comes to our emotional state.

Emotionally, we ALSO need to:

Nourish ourselves emotionally/spiritually on a daily basis. These practices can look like meditation, prayer, breath work, reading self-help material, etc.
Choose healthy relationships and hang out with people how add to our good
Laugh, enjoy, have fun, love
Go within, have quiet moments with ourselves…and yes, with our Higher Power and reboot; rest
Exercise wisdom, intuition and assertiveness. No need for the victim persona
Eliminate toxic and harmful emotions (anger, fear, hate, frustration) in healthy ways and not carry them around until we become ill.

I invite you take care of yourself, ALL OF YOU. We all need to do this. We become happier and create a better world to live in.

Too Old According to Whom???

2011-04-13T11:09:00.001-04:00

Am I too old to embark on a new life project? A new relationship? A new career?
I hear this from many middle aged women....even younger women, in their thirties. Ohhh, I'm too old.
Society has hammered into our minds, as women, that we are mostly valuable during our younger years, and that that once we hit our fifties, it's over for us and all we have to look forward to is enjoying our grandchildren and retiring.
I beg to differ!!!
At 56, I'm ready and working each day in creating a new career path. In 2009 I got an ESL teacher certification. Last year I became a certified You University Life Coach. Today, I'm transitioning from an Administrative Professional to a Life Coach and Minister!! I'm so excited.
The thoughts of being too old sometimes do cross my mind. I automatically dismiss them. No one is going to box me in. Society and the media, and even certain cultures, may still circulate these messages, but it's up to us women to change these images of us. As long as we believe in ourselves, strive to remain healthy, invest in our well-being and choose to be open to new ventures, we have limitless possibilities and opportunities to continue growing, expanding and making a positive difference in the world.
In our core we are limitless and ageless. I live from there!!!

I Am As God Created Me

2011-04-06T09:18:00.000-04:00

Because of all the on-going inner healing work I've embarked in in the past years (such as You University Life Coach training program) and my spiritual disciplines (ex. ACIM), I am understanding that I have all of God's attributes because God IS my Life. I am One with God. This is as natural as breathing.
Some may still think, even in today's day and age, that this belief is sacrilegious. Some may think this is self-centered and link it to a feeling of superiority. No way.
God is our life. We Are because God Is. Whatever your idea of God, whether it's Divine Source, the Universe, the Creator....God's Life is in each and every one of us and in all lives. The plants, the ocean, the trees, the animals, etc.
To begin to fathom this truth that I am as God created me and that everything else going on in my head is of my own making (inherited from my upbringing and culture) fills me with awe. It was so alien to see myself in this light, yet now it begins to make perfect sense. This is the "place" I've been searching for all of my life. HOME. A home filled with peace, defenselessness, total trust, joy, guiltlessness.
To realize that I have the power to change the world, to bring Its Light to each living being, to understand that I am INNATELY Love and that I am complete just because, is like taking off dirty clothes I've been wearing and find I have been wearing WHITE, SPOTLESS garments all along underneath.
The most important thing I keep in mind is that all of this is a gift from my Creator. I have done nothing at all to have to measure up, earn or sacrifice in order to Be Love and loved.
By practicing changing the old self-image of not good enough to the All-Encompassing and Whole Me motivates me to go out into the world and share this Truth with everyone. This is what I do as a Life Coach. Remind others who they really are!!
I (the old me) step back and invite the Light of God to step forward and guide me.

I Am a Creator

2011-04-05T09:18:00.000-04:00

I am definitely a creator of the life I want to experience.
I don't get to see my children or grandchildren very often because I live in the US and they all live in the Dominican Republic. My oldest granddaughter's 4th birthday was now in March. I came for her birth, but have never enjoyed being here for any of her birthdays. I so desired to come...but for financial reasons, I felt it was not the right time to do so. Yet, the desire was there. I hadn't come to see my family since last September.
But here I am!! I made it. My daughter also had the same desire!! With her and her hubby's offer to pay for my flight ticket, I hopped on a plane and am enjoying my time so much. I am so grateful.
I am grateful to God, to my daughter and hubby, and to Myself, for creating the opportunity and allowing myself to enjoy it.
As I practice and take these small steps in believing and creating what I want to experience, I am excited to move forward in other areas of my life and do the same!!!

How and Why Did I Become a Life Coach?

2011-03-30T18:00:00.000-04:00

Life coaching is a career that's become very popular in the last decade. There are many schools now that offer training. At one time, a few years ago, I myself was looking into this. Why? I felt I could be a really good coach!!

extensive life experience, professional experience, a natural mentor and motivator, and an interested listener.

You see, I had been coaching for many years, unofficially. I'd coached my friends, my coworkers. I'd mentored youth at community centers and counseled women in spiritual environments.
Yet, I also felt I needed a Life Coach myself. I was going through some rough times then and was honest about needing help to unravel and clarify what I was going to do next with my life.
One night, about 4 years ago, I went on the internet searching for coaching schools. I found so many. I looked into some of them...but was even more confused.
During my search, I found the website of a coach named Maia Berens. Something about her drew me to read her story. She came through as a woman who had her share of life experiences and challenges, and was totally honest about it! I loved how she projected herself so well through her website. It felt as if we were having a conversation.
I immediately emailed her requesting information about coach training. I was totally right about her. After a few short emails, and a phone conversation, I decided this was the life coach I needed!!!
Needless to say, the relationship was wonderful. Little did I know this woman would become my mentor in the life coaching field. She had her own training program already developed. All her life and professional experience were poured into this program, which serves as a self-development course and a coach training program.
Maia not only coached me, but she mentored me through the months of deep inner healing, of learning to acknowledge my feelings, of forgiveness. And, great life coaching tools! It has been a very rewarding journey!!

Today, I am a certified You University Life Coach.
Life Coaching is a calling, a vocation!! To be one, you have to be committed to your own ongoing self-development and to the growth and goals of your clients.
If you are searching for a Life Coach training program, I have to recommend You University. This is not a sales pitch. Going through the 6-month program has changed my life. Let it change yours!!!
Link: You University Life Coach Training Program

Why Journal?

2011-03-25T21:36:00.001-04:00

Finally, I've created the habit of journaling.
It took me a long time and quite many trials. Through the years I've started a journal many times...then I forget. Weeks, months and sometimes a year would go by without writing, until I felt the need again to journal what was going on in my life, inside and out; I'd start all over again.
Why do I journal? Well, in my journal I can express what I'm feeling. These are words infused with who I really am and what is actually going on inside me, and in my life.
Journaling helps me unload the emotional "stuff" I may be carrying around. Journaling is a useful tool in self-development and also for inner healing. I can write my desires, my dreams and goals.
I write emotions I may have towards people in my life exactly as I am feeling them: anger, fear, distrust, frustration, or love, admiration, desire...feelings I am not ready or unable to express outwardly, but my journal holds and receives them. It's my friend. Never divulging what I write, but just holding my heart.
When I read my journals from years back, I can appreciate my journey, how I've grown and developed, or how I'm still the same in certain areas of my life. It usually brings a smile to my face. I can witness my own transformation.
Would you like to get into the habit of journaling? Visit and be a member of a free journaling community where you'll learn to journal by following weekly topics that are related to your everyday life. Here's the link: http://allaboutlifecoaching.com/community-cost-gain.

Do Affirmations Really Work?

2011-03-21T09:19:00.001-04:00

Are affirmations effective? Do they really work in creating a shift in our moods or feelings? I believe they do. They work for me. Sometimes I've read articles written by professionals stating that an affirmation alone will not create any change in us....especially if we don't really believe what we are affirming. Really? Reading these statements has sometimes made me doubt. But, then I remember the best proof I can have is my own experience with affirmations.
I'm blogging about this because I realize we, and I, have so many available tools, which are free, and we're always searching for something else, someone else, to teach us or show us the way....when we already know what we need to do. And, affirmations are one of them. As a You University Life Coach, I share this tool with my clients because I know their effectiveness.
Do you know that our thoughts are affirmations? Every thought we entertain is affirming what we think of ourselves, of life, of others. Whether it's conscious or not. But our thoughts are affirmations.
Many years ago during a bout of depression, I learned a very effective and soothing tool to work my way out of the depression....using Bible verses as affirmations.
I got this idea out of a book I was reading at the time. I learned that depression starts with a thought. Again, our thoughts are so powerful...they can lead us to peace or despair. Remember that phrase, "Be careful what you wish for"? I'd say...."Be careful what you think about".
So, as the book suggested, I wrote one bible verse per index card until I had about 10. Whenever I got panicky and fearful (these accompanied the depressive state and would arise within me unexpectadly), I'd take out a card and read the verse out loud or in silence....I'd read it as wholly as I could. It didn't matter whether I was driving or cooking or trying to sleep, I'd do it. At first, these affirmations didn't seem to make any difference in my mood or feelings....but, I kept on ....after a few months...the depression had lifted. I have to say that the affirmations actually balanced my brain chemistry.
This tool may not work for everyone, but what have you got to lose?
You can find affirmations in the Bible, in A Course in Miracles, in other spiritual scriptures you read....or you can create your own.
Affirmations are a great tool:

when you're depressed or anxious
when you're fearful
if about to face a challenging situation
whenever you feel self-doubt
if you feel anger rising up within you
and.....whenever you feel you need them

Journaling is another highly effective tool in our journey to self-discovery and healing. Watch for my next post to learn more about it. Meanwhile, visit this http://allaboutlifecoaching.com/community-cost-gain and read about a wonderful journaling community you can join where you'll find a gentle haven of sharing and support.

Peace!!!

Lessons in Nature

2011-02-17T22:39:00.000-05:00

I take my power walks in a lovely park close to home. I notice the trees and the rocks and the birds. There's a lake right in the middle of the park, also. It's beautiful to be able to enjoy so much, for free. I love the exposure to nature.
Yesterday, I observed a little closer some of the trees that I passed as I walked . First, I took notice of the path where I start my walks....it's like a greeting committe...of mango trees.

Just walking underneath them I felt as if I was surrounded, nurtured and greeted happily by these wonderful living beings. I could almost sense them communicating with me.
Walking on, I noticed one tree. It felt like it resembled me. Short, not tall.....with a chunky trunk and lots of flowers (to later turn into fruit) on its branches close to the ground. I like to think I'm like that. My arms extended out, wanting to give to others what I've received.
Guess what? As I continued, I noticed another tree....it seemed to have been blown over by a storm, and most of its roots where outside the ground; yet, even though I thought it should be dead...there was life branching out of it...yes, there were flowers on its branches!!

I was amazed. This particular tree reminded me of people we sometimes think are crippled or disabled, but even so, live full and productive lives...giving to the world in their own unique way.
Funny, I walk this path almost every day....only yesterday did I take notice of all the lessons and stories Nature has to share with me.
Thank you!!!

Great Friendships

2011-02-07T14:59:00.000-05:00

I am very blessed to have great friends. I've known most of these women for over 15 years, and others for not so long. They all are significant to my journey. They've been a great support to me in:

sharing
love
fun
mirroring back to me with loving honesty
times of deep pain and turmoil

One in particular stands out for me. I met Margaret at work when I lived there 5 years ago. We've remained friends and connect by phone every once in a while. When we do, it's like no time has passed. When I need honest feedback to some big decision or change I'm considering in my life, I call Margaret in NY.
Margaret's insight is so helpful because it feels she's sharing from a higher place and not from her own particular belief system. So, I feel when she hears me out and then speaks, she is respecting my essence.
All of my friends are wise women; they want what's best for me. Yet, most people are biased by culture or what's "right" socially and they'll offer you advice from their own beliefs.
Myself, as a life coach and as a friend, have always been very careful also to listen with my heart when a friend in need comes to me. I understand there is no "right" way of going about life. I do my best to respect my friend's desire and outlook. I mentally climb a high place and look down to see with a broader perspective. See, even though many will ask for our opinion and a way to avoid making their own decision, ultimately, the greatest gift of friendship is respect and empowerment.

Opening the Closet Door to My Feelings

2011-01-26T09:20:00.000-05:00

Feelings need to be felt.
Shame has to be worked out and released.
Guilt is a useless and self-defeating emotion.

These are just some truths I have absorbed into my awareness in the past year. I have read about these concepts in the past, probably; yet, reading about them and working with them are two different things.
One of the most in-depth exercises in You University Life Coach Training program for me was having to tell my story. It's going back and feeling my feelings at age 7, 14, 21, etc....this took a while, a lot of probing and self-honesty to accomplish. I'd compare it to opening a closet in my home that has been closed for years, filled with a lot of "stuff" and finally going through the "stuff", keeping only what is of value and releasing the rest.

I used to get really anxious and afraid when certain thoughts and feelings would spring up inside me. Afraid they would come out and reveal how ugly I am inside, I felt the need to repress and hide them (in the closet of my soul). Today I can affirm that I am able to sit with my feelings, observe them, identify "aaahhh, this thought is coming from that closet again" and simply, let it be. I ask myself....is this thought really true?
Having to face my shame from the past, to open that closed closet door and bring the stuff into the Light, has brought me to a peaceful state (within)....one I have not experienced ever before in this lifetime. And, for what it's worth, the You University tools have had a lot to do with it.

My Brain, My Spirituality & Me

2011-01-12T14:43:00.000-05:00

I am a curious soul. Because I've dealt with chronic mild depression and anxiety since my teens, I've spent most of my life reading material on the subjects and have grown increasingly interested in spirituality also. The bottom line is I've been wanting to know myself as best I can while at the same time being scared of what I might find inside me.
Many sources have been inspiring and of much help in the practical aspect of managing these conditions.
The movie What the Bleep Do We Know introduced me, among other concepts, to the scientific knowledge of how parts of my brain works. I now understand (a little bit) how a life-long thought pattern creates neuronets in the brain and these secrete certain chemicals as a reaction to thoughts/situations...ergo REACTIONS. These become automatic.
Studying A Course in Miracles has made me aware of how harmful and exclusive the ego thought system is. This is a practical course in learning to change the way I see the world and myself. So, I am the cause and not the effect. I need to work on changing my state of mind in order to change my reality. I can choose. I believe practicing this can create new neuronets based on peaceful and living thoughts.
I've read a few books on Zen and meditation. Sit, quiet the mind, breathe, observe the thoughts. They are not who I really am. This is not my real Self. Automatically, I am seeing how these thoughts that used to scare me to death are losing power over me. This practice can also have a positive effect on my brain by creating new neuronets.
I've listened to channelings also. And I exercise. I pray. I have a relationship with God.
I have learned all the above little by little....because I'm curious and investigative. I look here and read there. I ask questions, I go to groups, I read alot of books, go to workshops. And, I feel the need to blog about it hoping others will read this and maybe benefit from it.
What I would love and appreciate is to find a source, one source, a compilation of all this knowledge that is being put out there, find it in one book or one organization. How helpful and integrating this would be. To explain it all in such a way that the information would be in one place!!!

New Year Resolutions?

2010-12-31T13:05:00.000-05:00

This is my last blog for 2010....more to come in 2011. I will continue to share here the lessons I learn about my Self and Life with all who are interested and drawn to this blog.

Whenever there's a new year approaching, our energy gets invested in making resolutions, and that's just great. Life is an ongoing process of evolution, growth and change.
I believe New Year goals and resolutions are important and help us focus and take steps in the direction we feel our life needs to progress.
I already thought about my own (resolutions), and even wrote them down in my new agenda for the coming year. Unlike many of my hi-techie fellow humans, I prefer my hard copy agenda vs. an electronic one.
This year, my list is pretty short. I'm not intending to DO alot. My intention is to BECOME more of my Self. I intend to learn to get in touch with as many of those feelings I have been avoiding most of my life. So, I resolve to:

be more Aware of what's going on inside of me
pay more Attention to the Now
meditate more and sit with myself and my feelings/thoughts
practice and learn to be with Life just as it is, to the best of my capacity. This will entail less complaining, judging and escaping.

Besides all of the above, my list has a few more items.....painting classes, register in a two-year ministry program...not much more than that. If I create too much activity (doing) then I will drift away from experiencing the right Now!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!!!

In God There is No Lack

2010-12-16T10:48:00.000-05:00

A prayer on behalf of all people willing to work:
Dear God, as your children, we trust You are our true Provider….all our needs are met in and through You. It is not from an employer/spouse or any other source that we trust our provision to come from.
We are here with our God-given talents, skills and willingness to work. We are productive and dignified beings. We are the Light of the world. We do our part and You do Yours.
We will not believe what the world out there says:

there is lack, or
you have no credentials, or
you are overqualified, or
you are under-qualified,

we affirm: we are whole in You. Somewhere our unique talents and abilities are needed and valued. We are not at the expense of unappreciative employers/clients…we are in Your hands, Father. We trust you guide us to our greatest good!!! We affirm: THERE IS NO LACK!! WE ARE WHOLE IN YOU!!! And so it is!!

How I Perceive the World

2010-12-09T12:27:00.000-05:00

As I learn to apply the principles of A Course in Miracles to my daily life, and moment to moment, I start to understand many small details of my life today.
I see how much I played the victim. How much I've complained about past jobs, relationships, situations.
As I walk on my own personal path and am willing to see within, to work with who I've been, where I come from, I understand I am where I am as a result of how I thought in the past. And even so, God is benevolent with me. It's not all bad, I have not been all complaining either.
It's important for me to take this time today to apply new thought patterns, to work at seeing myself as I truly am, a son of God. It's been a mind blower to read and read and read over and over that the world I see has been created by my thoughts and perceptions. This is a totally opposite concept from anything I have ever learned before. My parents didn't know that, my teachers never taught me this. I never heard this in church. Maybe the bible teaches it, but I was not taught to see myself or the world this way.
I also realize I have a blessed and huge responsibility. As I shift my thoughts and so my perception of the world, it is only natural that I interact with my world and the people in it from a new place. A place of Love, of Light, of forgiveness. This might just be how we go about changing the world.

Job Searching @ 55?

2010-12-08T08:08:00.000-05:00

Job searching in today's world is an experience. It's even more so at 55!! I so realize how much I'm changing as I mature.
When I faced the reality that it was time to look for work, it felt unpleasant. It was a process I did not want to go through. I feel that by now I have proven myself as a career woman after 30 years of working experience. To have to start all over has not been something easily digested by me.
Ok, so, let the applying on line begin.
After numerous email responses from HR computers from companies responding that they found a candidate that better fits the position's qualifications, I get calls from a few recruiters, and a few companies.
Interviewing. Gotta study the company. Make sure I have a professional demeanor. Stay positive. Know the right answers and the right questions.
The questions: what is your greatest strength? What is your weakness? Describe a day in your previous job. How many words do you type? Tell me about yourself. Why did you leave this job? And that job?
With each interview I go to, I get the impression that the whole corporate world is really for young workers. These are some of the words that describe today's world: Go-getters, multi-tasking, fast-paced environments, willingness to work overtime, constant change. I get stressed just from reading that. This is what I bring: mindfulness, wisdom, balance, 30 years of experience, and much more. Maybe I don't fit anymore.
It's been an experience of growth for me. I have gone from "I don't want to do this anymore" to "God, you guide me. Show me what lessons I need to learn from this whole process. You know my talents and skills and where I can be of service. Please take me there."
Choosing on a day to day basis to trust God and believe He's present in each step has eased my apprehension in the whole process. I know what feels right for me, He knows and sees the bigger picture. Together we can make some good happen here.

Life Coaching is a Vocation

2010-12-07T07:57:00.000-05:00

I am a Life Coach by vocation. What does that mean? That I coach naturally.

When at work it's so natural and easy for me to train others, to explain to them new procedures, and to encourage my coworkers when they feel they've made a mistake.
At my spiritual community: as a volunteer woman's counselor, I've used my natural God-given gifts to connect at the soul level to understand their experience as best I can. When it's time to speak, I allow the words to come from a place of love and objectivity.
Friends. My friends come to me for non-judgmental support. I hear them, I really listen, and do my best to understand their feelings and issues. When I speak, I always try to do it from that same place of unconditional love that I mention above, trying to see things from a higher perspective.

So, even though right at this moment I am not immersed in a coaching practice, I know wherever I go, wherever God sends me, I will bring all that I've learned to be light and to support, motivate and empower those I come into contact with.

I Am Provided For

2010-11-25T09:24:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I get confused reading so much everywhere about The Law of Attraction, affirmations, how to become rich, etc., etc., etc.
I wonder....what really is true? Probably there's some truth to all of it. To find an answer that resonates with me, that feels true to my soul, I have to go within and ask myself...what has been my experience with what I call God and provision? How about with the Law of Attraction?
I have to ask myself....what does becoming or being "rich" really mean to me? Why have I never had this fervor of pursuing to make a lot of money? Some people tell me....."you have to dream BIG".....
Could it be that deep within I don't feel worthy? Do I feel incapable? Maybe...to some extent.
Yet.....still......to go back to the answer I mentioned above...the one I find within.

Well, my experience, very personal and particular, is that God HAS and DOES provide for me.
There have been times when I did apply the Law of Attraction, way before I even heard of it.
For example. Years ago, when I was searching to buy an apartment, I took an index card and wrote on it the following specifications regarding the desired apartment:

3 - 4 specific neighborhoods
certain characteristics of the structure (spacious, lots of windows and light coming in, privacy, good neighbors, good structure)
Other particulars: close to my parents' home, public transportation/pharmacy, etc. at a reasonable distance)
Affordable: at a price I could afford and have money left over to do some repairs/restructuring

Guess what? 95% of what I wrote on that card manifested. I was awed.
I've practiced this in another instance in my life....with a job search in the past. Same thing.

I find this is not a formula....it doesn't always happen my way. Why? I don't know. This is a pending conversation I have with God. But I do think that ultimately, God knows what's best for me, God sees the bigger picture, I don't. My willingness (sometimes not so willingly) to ask God to guide me to my greatest good allows me to witness these "miracles" in my life. It could be that my willingness to allow God to provide for me (and knowing I am loved ultimately...no matter what), dissipates the desire to make a lot of money.

As a wise friend of mine, Steven Lane Taylor wrote a few weeks ago: is money what you really want? Or is it an experience of comfort, security, adventure, or beauty that money can offer you?

I choose the experience.

It's Ok To Want More

2010-11-20T11:07:00.000-05:00

I have a dear friend named Esther. She's had it tough most of her adult life. Divorced with two small children, she had to financially scrape to raise them, supporting her household on a tight salary. Her children's father never contributed with child support....or support of any kind for that matter.
At one point of our time together as friends many years go, I was also recently divorced and struggling with selling the house I had lived in for 17 years with my ex. I desired to move on and into an apartment. Start fresh!! I had never sold a house, especially on my own. Big decisions. So, I was talking with her about this challenge and how I wanted to make the best decision. There were many "what ifs" involved for me.
I will always remember her comment to my inner struggle...she said: "You have everything anyone would want to have. Why do you want to sell your home? Why aren't you satisfied with what you have?" Wow....for a moment, I stepped into her world. But only for a moment. After, I could only respond: "Esther, because I want more. There is nothing wrong with wanting more, with wanting to move forward, with creating change to experience something better in my life."
I don't settle and when I feel it's time to move on, I do....within my possibilities (and sometimes I push it). I don't consider myself unstable....but I do feel change is part of life, and I am learning not to resist it. Some people may consider this as being ungrateful or complaining...as my friend Esther.
I grew up in NYC, in the 60s, an era full of upheavel and change. So, I'm restless.
While pursuing security and stability is ok, trying to create it outside in today's world seems a little shaky. On my personal spiritual journey I am aware that Life Is Change.
I believe it's ok to want more and desire something higher, challenging...isn't that what we are and what our experience confirms? Constant Change? Evolvement?

Peeling Off Layers of Self-Image

2010-10-24T12:11:00.000-04:00

I've had a self image I've worked very hard to create and keep throughout my life. It goes something like this:

I'm a very serious woman
Responsible
Hardworking
There for everyone that needs me
Good and decent
Super woman and just about perfect
Great mom, abnegated daughter, committed friend
Selfless
Strong, sane

I've paid a price to maintain this image.......a lot of effort and detachment from who I really am! Who am I really doing this for?
Can you imagine how much energy, enjoyment, true life experience I have missed out on because of trying to be who I thought I should be? Do you know how much effort it takes to keep this "should" thing going all the way up to middle age?

One step at a time, one layer at a time, one relationship at a time, I am peeling off the false image, the "should" image, to let my true wants and desires come afloat to what life really is about.

Something inside me says "Aaaaaaagh, no more, please, Savina." In each incident or relationship, I realize it's not about what the other one wants or expects of me....it's about who I really am. What choices am I making that guide me on a path of honest self discovery?

I frightens me a bit, because having an image I can depend on to do what's "right" and "expected" feels safe. Safe, yet numbing. I say, I desire to live from a place of realness and allow myself to make mistakes (I make them any, it's part of my humanity), to learn from them, and to grow. This is what my journey has been leading me towards. Now, it's a brand new experience. Some people in my life will judge me, and disapprove of some of my choices. That scares me too. But, that cannot be avoided.

What might happen is as I am more authentic, I may inspire those around me to also release their images.

Moving Forward

2010-10-18T22:57:00.000-04:00

If a client tells you they want to end the coaching relationship and move on to something else, what do you do? How do feel about it? What do you say to them? Especially when you as their life coach feel this is not the best path for them to take? That they are not ready?

I remind myself that coaching someone is about support, accountability, assisting and allowing the other to find their own answers, within themselves and not in me. I need to be cautious and not express judgment or disappointment, because, then, maybe I'll be bringing my own agenda into the relationship.
If as a life coach I've done my best, given my most, been there for my client, then I feel I've done a great job. Everyone has their own journey and has the right to their own choices. I believe life coaching is about empowerment, and listening to my client tell me they want to end the relationship, I would want to honestly wish them well and trust they are making the correct and best choice for their greatest good. I will feel proud that in some way, I had something to do in their learning to make and trust their own choices.

A New Healing Experience

2010-10-14T07:44:00.000-04:00

Life Coach Crystal Church writes about A New "Healing" Experience

Just yesterday I had my first appointment with a woman whom I am trading services with. I am acting as her personal development life coach and she is helping me through some old issue by doing a body healing exercise with me. It is really turning out to be an amazing experience for the both of us.

When I coached her yesterday I was able to give an outsider's perspective to the situation she is right in the middle of. Since I am not going through it, I was able to see clearly what I needed to guide her to look at to get the answers she has been searching for. The answers have always been inside of her, I was just able to tap into the triggers that would allow her to see the path to follow. It was very empowering for me. It validated everything I know about myself on a level that was above anything I have felt before. I felt as much joy in helping her, as she did in receiving my help. When I got off the call, I was energized and felt like I could accomplish anything........I mean anything. It was an amazing feeling that lasted the entire day. When I think of what this means, it brings a huge smile to my face. As my chosen path, my job, I will be feeling amazing after my work. How great is that? We spend so much of our life working, that to be able to blend pleasure and work together is the most brilliant thing ever. It brings new meaning to loving what you do as well as finding my special purpose.

The trade happened with us the same day, but later in the evening. It was perfect because my kids were (sort of) in bed and I had privacy. My healer explained the process fully and I was very comfortable with what was about to transpire. She let me know that since we were on the phone, and not face to face, that she would be taking on my body's feelings temporarily so she could intuitively feel what I my body was feeling in response to the questions she would be asking. She did an invocation to start off that invited the divine and the other powers of the unknown to join us and help us with the healing journey. She placed a virtual shield of safety around both of us to keep us from harm during the session, and away we went.

Her voice was very soft and calming and she asked very specific questions about trapped emotions that my body was holding on to. As she asked the questions she was able to get messages from my body, that her body felt and then she could formulate the answer to the questions she asked. I laid in my bed, relaxed, and listened to what she way saying. I was truly amazed at how right on the answers to the specific questions she posed were. Let me give you an example. She asked if their was a trapped emotion of disgust in me, which there is, and she verified. We then spoke with each other interactively about what she saw and felt this disgust pertained to, and I replied about what I specifically knew the disgust pertained to. Between the both of us what we came up with made perfect sense to me, and after wards she did a ceremonial release of the emotion of disgust. She could feel it go out of her body, which was actually my body that she was temporarily in to feel my emotions, and I could also feel it. It was a tingling sensation in certain areas of my body, and upon talking about where we each felt it, they were exactly the same areas. Pretty unbelievable. The session was just short of an hour, and each time we released a trapped emotion, I felt something different inside of myself. I felt sort of clean and pure, and maybe a hint of what it felt like to be a brand new baby without any negative experiences in my soul.

I was pretty fatigued after the session was over, she explained what to expect in the next few days and let me know if I needed to talk to her about anything I experienced, that I was free to call. Because your body is getting rid of emotion which is toxin, she suggested I drink plenty of water. Also, body work is physically and mentally draining, she also recommended I be very aware of my feelings and interactions with others and practice good self care.

I am very excited to watch this all unfold. We both have at least 3 more sessions with each other and I am confident this will be a life changing experience for the both of us. We both marveled in the fact that we found each other in the 'internet sea' and knew immediately it was meant to be. (a little unplanned poetry there!) It truly is no accident that we are able to help each other with our specific gifts and I am convinced this is the beginning of an amazing journey into my next phase of life as a coach. I am proud to be putting my God given talents to work in a way that benefits myself as well as my clients.

Personal Power, a post from You University creator, Maia Berens

2010-10-13T08:32:00.000-04:00

Personal Power

Simple But Not Easy

Today I’m seeing my role as life coach very simply. Show my clients their personal power. My job is to show my clients how to clear their path and their self view of all that says they are less than – less than deserving of material goods; less than deserving of the relationships they want with friends, family and significant other; less than deserving of anything they want.

Most of us seem to have picked up the message somewhere that it’s only OK to want a certain amount. So a certain amount is what we get. Additionally, it is hard for us humans to remember that we came here for a purpose. In its broadest sense we came here (here being Planet Earth) to learn some other things in addition to our worthiness, our own personal power. What we learn appears to be our own choice.

For example, a client I’m working with is working on letting go of guilt and responsibility around her adult children. We spoke today about how when we enable other adults, we might keep them from growing into the wonderful humans they are in the process of becoming. When we enable other adults and rescue them from themselves, they never get to see their own inner resources or personal power nor seek the support they may decide they need or even fail and learn and grow from that.

We also spoke about the agreements we appear to make on some spiritual level in which we act in certain ways for our children’s growth and they do the same for us. Therefore everyone is in agreement. No one is a victim.

I have no idea how I developed the gift of being able to teach, model, intuit all that I do with clients but it appears to be an ever-developing gift. It sure is fun to be able to see, speak and help those people who want to grow in awareness and expand their lives. I love watching the magic of transformation as it occurs. I love holding the hand of those I work with and becoming part of their magnificent unfolding. I love seeing those I help exercise their own personal power for their own growth and benefit.

Resistance

2010-10-12T10:31:00.000-04:00

What is this thing we call resistance?
I'm experiencing resistance in several areas of my life. Such as, resistance:

to taking the actions needed to move forward and grow my Life Coach practice;
to allowing myself to try out new things;
to exercising consistently and not eat sweets daily!

I know these actions are in my best interest, yet even though I know and get excited about them, I don't realize them. I feel I let myself down and I feel awful.
Where does this resistance come from? Why am I doing this? I don't really know. Yet. I do know it's there and I don't like it. Should I resist resistance? No. I prefer to learn from it and find the answers to these questions...answers that are within me. I've been journaling and working with my life coach to arrive at a place of understanding and acceptance.
One good thing is I'm growing in self knowledge. I now know I have resistance to the good that's for me. I was unaware of this. I want to learn from it, as it has been a part of me...a learned response to something deeper that is beginning to surface (fear?).

You University Life Coach Crystal Shares About Grief

2010-10-11T04:09:00.000-04:00

This post is a tribute to my Sadie

Grief is an emotion that is not only for the loss of a human life. It can about the loss of a relationship, a childhood, or in this case ..........my dog Sadie.

Grief is an emotion defined as:
1. Pain of mind on account of something in the past; mental suffering arising from any cause, as misfortune, loss of friends, misconduct of one's self or others, etc.; sorrow; sadness. [1913 Webster]

Grief has stages that are individual to each human and are not experienced in any specific order, but they are as follows:

1. SHOCK & DENIAL
2. PAIN & GUILT
3. ANGER & BARGAINING
4. "DEPRESSION", REFLECTION, LONELINESS
5. THE UPWARD TURN
6. RECONSTRUCTION & WORKING THROUGH
7. ACCEPTANCE & HOPE
as taken from aboutgrief.com

I learned these past few days that there is no time line for when grief will hit you. If you don't deal with grief it will come out in some way. I lost my Grandmother a year ago, and the loss of my dog triggered some incredibly healing tears for me. I had not been able to cry up until this last loss.
I learned that no matter what your conditioning as you were growing up, grief has to be expressed. It is a healthy response to loss. The human body needs to let go of trapped emotion or it can cause illness in many forms.
I miss my dog, but she is in a better place. She taught me many things about giving love and receiving it back as well. She has allowed me to grieve for other losses and understand the importance of being vulnerable. Thank you Sadie for the lessons in life you shared with me, and I will see you on the other side.........

Self Empowerment Through Life Coaching

2010-10-08T11:25:00.000-04:00

Many of us turn to others to find answers and meaning for our lives. We put our faith in:

A guru to follow to tell us what to do to be happy (self esteem)
A doctrine to show us what rules to follow to get to heaven (spiritual meaning)
The media to tell us what car, house, body building discipline, food, etc., to buy to find acceptance (self image)

So many people and organizations telling us what to do with our lives. Oh, please, everyone, be quiet. I can't hear myself. All the noise deafen my true voice. Only I know what I need. My point? I need to learn to think for myself. How can someone from the outside know what feels right for me? Well, they can't....so, please be quiet.

But, as a life coach don't I do this with my clients too? No. Just like a Friend in Deed, a life coach motivates you, holds you accountable, guides you back into your Real Self. A good coach assists you back home, back within. A good coach creates the environment in the relationship to help you see you are responsible for your life. You have choices that are right just for you. A life coach holds YOU accountable for what you commit to. A good coach mirrors back to you what you may be running away from and need to deal with.
With a life coach, it's going back to basics. Back to YOU. Becoming quiet in order to hear ME.
Then, if you choose to do so, you go to church, you buy the new car, you get the huge house, but not out of fear of "not being enough", but because YOU consciously choose this because it feels right for you!!
Aaaah, you are self empowered and responsible.

What to Do if You Were Taught Not to Take Care of Yourself

2010-10-05T17:28:00.000-04:00

Here's a great blog from my Life Coach, Maia Berens:

Selfish or Self-Care?

It seems when I was a child I was never taught about self care or to want things. Whenever I wanted something, I was accused of being selfish. It didn’t matter if I was tired or just not wanting to do chores. I heard it so much and so often and didn’t want to think I was anything bad like that, I stopped taking care of myself in many different ways. If taking care of me was selfish , than taking care of and pleasing others was unselfish . And I’d much rather be unselfish. I suspect many people and maybe more women are taught this self-defeating, unloving attitude by other women – mostly their mothers who had learned the same thing in their early lives.

If you experienced something like that dynamic somewhere in your past, you might find it difficult to rest enough, difficult to eat well, difficult to take care of your body in other ways. You might find it difficult to take care of yourself in relationships. You might judge your emotions as unworthy of a good (unselfish) person. You might also find it difficult to have healthy boundaries and difficult to stand up for what you know is right.

How do I know all of this? I know it because I have lived it in one way or another. So what do you do if you see yourself in these words?

To read more........click here

More on Self Trust and Life Lessons

2010-10-01T13:14:00.000-04:00

Learning to trust myself and being open to life's lessons seem to go hand in hand for me.
My form of exercise is power walking. I've been doing it for 30+ years. It's great for me because I do it outdoors. I hear the birds, feel the breeze, get alot of sun and it energizes me along with staying healthy. A few weeks ago I started jogging and running a little bit....and my left leg began to complain. I didn't pay attention.
Along with investing time and energy in building my life coaching practice, I also am looking for part time work. I went to an interview with a recruiter (along the same time my leg was acting up). They had a good full time/temp position supporting a VP in a global organization. If you know anything about me, I have been doing Administrative support work all my life and I'm not too excited to continue with it. I want change. Ok, I accepted to go to the interview the next day where the position was available. I really didn't want to but it was the "should" thing to do.
Coming out of the recruiter's offices, guess what? My leg snapped and I felt excruciating pain. I had to hop to my car. After a visit to the ER, I was sent home to rest for a week, no exercising, and no walking for a few days.
Did I somehow create the leg injury on a subconscious level? Could be. I didn't go to the interview. Lesson? Well, whether it's logical or not, I pay more attention to what feels best to me, not what feels like a "should". Trusting myself is one of the lessons from this experience. I will write in a future blog about some other lessons I'm learning from this.

A New Healing Experience

2010-09-25T11:21:00.000-04:00

Connecting with Crystal: A New Healing Experience

Self Trust

2010-09-22T08:21:00.000-04:00

Learning to trust myself is a real challenge for me. Time and again I get that gut feeling, the warning, the nudge, and I invalidate this built-in guidance system and instead listen to what others around me think and feel is the right way to go.
At least I am realizing this. It used to be that when faced with a decision, small or significant, I couldn't make up my mind. I'd be filled with anxiety and confusion. Oh my God, what should I do? What if I choose wrong? What if I make a mistake? What if? What if?
Underneath that feeling of confusion was and is the inability to trust myself. Fear and self doubt are underneath these reactions. It has been a loooong journey to come to this realization.
Trust myself. That sounds so good. So wholly.
Three precise tools or systems, if you will, have helped me embrace this new way of interacting within myself (does that make sense, interacting within myself?).

Human Design. This is a system of understanding your conditioning vs. your true and original design to help you get to know yourself better. More and more I am reminded from within what my true design is and it helps me to trust myself more.
You University. The program is not just a reading through; it has tangible assignments and work that get you very much in touch with your core beliefs and allows you to surface and look at them and choose differently.
My spiritual connection and relationship to God. Knowing I'm not alone and am loved unconditionally gives me a certain courage to love myself.

Trusting myself is a cornerstone in my coaching practice. I certainly need to trust my instincts when connecting and listening to a client. Doubt has no place when dealing with something so precious and important as a life.

http://allaboutlifecoaching.com/magic-secrets-movie

Taking Responsibility

2010-09-17T12:00:00.000-04:00

I had a difference with someone I care for very much just this past week. When in a relationship, whether it's romantic, friendship, business, coworkers, it's hard for me to honestly take responsibility for my own creations. I tend to project onto another what I'm supposed to be doing or owning. I hide these parts of me from myself. Why is it so hard to be honest with myself? For whom do I want to keep face? What am I defending?
I find it takes really a lot of courage to look at myself and be just as I am. Sometimes it feels scary. My God, is it that I've been so ingrained to doubt myself and to believe I have to be a certain way (that's not who I really am) in order to be ok?
When I decide to look at what's going on inside me, even momentarily, I find I need to release those preconceived labels and images I have created about myself. Like what?

I should be perfect and not make mistakes
I need to be good and this behavior, if discovered or revealed, proves the contrary
I will be left alone if I don't please this person
I don't know how to express my feelings effectively so I will hide what I'm really feeling to avoid confrontations

Besides courage, it takes self awareness to even realize I'm on a default system with these beliefs. They come up automatically. As a Life Coach, am I supposed to be "perfect" and not be dealing with these issues anymore (another preconceived idea I've had that ties to perfection)? No. That is not my experience. I still have these challenges.
After talking it over, writing a love letter and acknowledging my lack of responsibility with my friend, we both feel so much better and connected again.
Lesson learned. And life goes on.

Willingness, Commitment, Courage,

2010-09-14T11:11:00.000-04:00

Reviewing Bldg 3 in You University Life Coach training program a few days ago (going over an old assignment), it was refreshing to reread and reaffirm what it takes to walk the true path of inner transformation. I'd like to share these with you here:

Willingness: First, I have to want to make the changes needed to create the life I want. I have to have self honesty that I need to make changes and to do the work. I cannot force this or do it grudgingly. It takes a voluntary willingness to move forward.
Commitment: Commitment is central to your transformation. This commitment to yourself means that no matter what is occurring in your life,YOUR PERSONAL TRANSFORMATION IS THE CORE VALUE YOU HOLD DEAREST. It is your reality and your salvation. This quote is from the referred Bldg.....I think it says it all. But I always need to add my own experience to what I blog here so it doesn't seem like I'm lecturing. There is something called Resistance that we all have within us. Change is uncomfortable....it's scary sometimes. So, it has been really necessary for me to remain focused on my commitment to myself to continue on my self growth and healing journey. I am important to myself. Now. No more putting it off. It's not enough to have willingness...to want...I want this, I want that, etc....we have to be committed.
Courage: it does take courage to face yourself, to own those parts of you you've been burying inside for years. It takes courage to admit responsibility and to take charge of your life.

As the program states, all these qualities already exist in me, and in you. They are God-given...part of our human-spirituality.

Are you ready?

Making the Career Change

2010-09-10T23:06:00.000-04:00

For many years I worked as an Administrative Assistant in the corporate world. I never stayed at any job for more than 2 years, except for one, where I remained for 5 years. It was a pharmaceutical regional office in Santo Domingo. I started as a Secretary and transitioned into the Human Resources Coordinator.
I was fortunate in my career. I always landed jobs in great companies and learned a lot over the years.
While the companies were good, stable, with great benefits and good working environment, the work itself was not satisfying. Most of the time, all during those years (30), I felt bored and unchallenged. But, the work was not too demanding and it was low stress. I was able to juggle work and kids.
As I matured in life, I felt I couldn't settle or compromise anymore, but this was what I knew how to do and the pay was good.
Still, I dreamed of working from my own home office. My perfect work would be: challenging, purposeful and satisfying, using my creative talents and abilities, making my own hours, being my own boss, and creating good income.
At my last job, again a pharmaceutical, I was the Exec. Adm. Assistant to five VPs in the Financial Department. I knew for sure this was not what I was going to be doing the rest of my working years. I just had to make a change. But what? How? I felt stuck!! I researched about changing careers, I prayed to God for guidance.
Well, that's when I decided to hire a life coach. Maia Berens patiently heard me out time and again, as I was complaining and wondering....yet she saw my potential to become a Life Coach and she would gently suggest it. As a matter of fact, so did many of my friends. I had been coaching already (at work and in spiritual communities) because it was a natural talent of mine to listen, motivate, and guide others.
After 3 years at the job, the company was sold to a larger pharmaceutical, and guess what? I got laid off last May. By this time, I was already in Life Coach training with Maia under the You University program (yes, I finally gave myself permission to go for what I wanted). I not only learned tools to coach others but I have experienced a real transformation in my inner life through the program.
Did I create this new reality in my life? I certainly believe so. They say when the student is ready the teacher will appear. I wanted a change in my life and I took steps to make it happen.
Every life is unique. This is my journey. Right now? I'm coaching as a You University Life Coach and I love what I'm doing. My life situation at this time has allowed me to make this career change. I'm excited and I affirm each day that this is the path I am choosing to travel.

We Each Have Our Unique Path

2010-09-10T12:55:00.000-04:00

We all have our own unique pace and we learn at our own speed. It's never a good practice or idea to force anything either on ourselves or on other people.
As a Life Coach, I'm learning that one of my main tools with my clients is patience. But not just with clients, also with the people in my life in general.
I need patience to allow others to travel on their own journey; to become aware when they become aware. That's how it happened for me, too. And I am grateful to my own coach, Maia, for being patient with me and believing in me.
I have a very good friend named Jessica. She's been in a really strained financial situation, like, for years now. She's a Christian, a believer in God and a knower of the Bible. So, she has faith, she has foundation, she's also very intelligent and has a BA in Marketing.
Yet, Jessica's been without work for more than a year; she has no children, she's single, and she has family and knows a lot of people. We don't see each other much, because we live in different countries, but the friendship is strong and ongoing.
Many times, knowing how she struggles, I ask God "why?" Here's a decent, smart, wise, faithful being. What's going on here?
Even though we're friends, good ones, she doesn't share what's going on inside of her. Jessica doesn't open up very easily, if at all. I let her know I'm here for her, and I offer my support....yet, I realize that when she's ready to recognize her needs and has the willingness to look within and work at unearthing and discovering what's been blocking her for so long, she'll do it.
Again, I repeat what I said at the beginning, I cannot force Jessica to open up until she herself is ready. I cannot judge ever what her lessons are in life. It's unwise of me to see her as a victim. She is God's creation, a unique one, with her own gifts, talents and abilities to blossom in her life. I am here for her and patiently offer my support.

What Inspires Me: An Interview with The Get Inspired Project

2010-09-09T11:48:00.000-04:00

This was a great experience for me as a step forward in my coaching practice. I am grateful for the opportunity to talk a bit about myself and express my experience with inspiration. Here's the link where you can listen and read my answers to Toni Reece's questions: Interview.

I Love Being My Age

2010-09-08T12:42:00.000-04:00

I love being my age, 55. While many people in general hide their age as they advance in life, I feel proud of it. I can say that I feel my best right here and now.
I'm not boasting nor trying to sound totally fulfilled. I realize there are many aspects of life that I still need to learn about, and parts of me that I need to embrace and accept.
Yet, I have this feeling of wholeness and serenity never experienced before.
This state did not come on its own, nor was it achieved without a price. Every single experience I've had in my life has taught me something of value. What I called a struggle or labeled as bad at the moment, I now look back and can see its value in guiding me to where I am at now.
My life is not perfect. Perfection is a concept invented by the ego to create struggle and illusion. We are all "perfect" in our uniqueness. My life is just as it needs to be and from it I choose to see myself.
While others may feel they are aging and sagging in certain areas, I choose to focus on all I've lived, and how to use these lessons to live better this second half of my life. Yes, I'm sagging too, yes, my body is slowing down, yet even this reality is for my benefit....for as I slow down, I can notice and relish the now. I'm not in a rush anymore to get anywhere. I'm learning to release that stress and struggle and rush, and instead I go with the flow of my bodily movements and smell the flowers, watch the clouds stream by, learn from my father and my children and my friends. I listen now to my soul for guidance and to reveal to me what it is that I enjoy.
I'm rich and wealthy and am here to share this with all of you.

Journaling and It's Benefits

2010-08-31T13:51:00.000-04:00

For many years I've had the intention to journal daily. Just like other good habits, it took me many times of starting to journal, stopping journaling, because I forgot or it was a hassle, or I just wasn't in the mood.

I tried buying really nice notebooks, I even got one as a present from one of my bosses. Nope....first few pages were written on, and then nothing.

But now, it's not like that anymore. I've learned the habit of journaling...and what a great experience it is.

It helps me focus, I feel I have a friend in my journal. I can write anything I'm feeling, really feeling, and it's ok. Journaling has become a very significant tool I use to get in touch with my core feelings.

You know how you sometimes are feeling something "ugly" or that you've been taught you "shouldn't feel"? Yes, I know you know what I mean. Well, your journal can take it. What a relief to let it out with no judgments or condemnations. You realize it's ok, that's just you.

I'm experiencing another wonderful journaling experience now...and that's journaling on line...it's like the gourmet of journaling!!! I belong to this wonderful community. Its members are from all over the world: US, Asia, Australia, Africa....wow, all continents. Here, I feel safe to take a step further in my journaling, and that is to share my experiences and feelings with like-minded people. Like minded because we're all focused on self development and Truth. Here too I find nurturing and no judgment. It feels safe, and I receive so much positive feedback and encouragement....likewise, I have the honor to read others' life experiences, learn from them and also comment, sharing whatever inspiring wisdom I may receive to assist them on their journey.

Journaling now has become a part of my life, more than a habit...it's natural to me.

What Inspires Me?

2010-08-31T13:05:00.000-04:00

A few days ago I was interviewed by Toni Reece for an online project, The Get Inspired Project.

One of the questions asked was, what inspires me? So, I’d like to share my answer here.

I find inspiration through my walks in Nature; there I find peace in its surroundings, sounds and scents.

I find inspiration in my time of silence in God’s presence. I open my heart to Him and allow my spirit to be nourished and renewed.

I’m inspired by the women I choose as friends and allow into my inner circle. Briefly, I want to mention four of these women….they are ever present even though they reside at thousands of miles away. We are connected by something stronger than physical closeness.

These women are Maia Berens, Crystal Church, Adrienne Johnson and Heather Williams. They are my friends, business partners in You University and also my support system.

Each of these women has experienced their share of hardship in their lives. Divorce, abuse, abandonment, addiction, and each has overcome these struggles. Today they are women who serve others to overcome their own blocks. Today, they are strong, courageous, inspiring, wise women. They once made a choice…..the choice to heal, to grow, to release, and to forgive.

They inspire me to be the very best Me I can be. Being in their company awakens all sorts of inspiring ideas and desires to make the world a better place. We share each others present joys and difficulties. We nurture and motivate each other to continue on.

They inspire me.

The Gratitude Game

2010-08-28T11:13:00.000-04:00

Going through You University, there's a very fun and interesting exercise called THE GRATITUDE GAME.
It's really not something new nor rocket science. I've heard of something similar to this before and I've actually done it with a friend, one of my children some time in the past. I can't remember when was the last time. And, that's precisely the problem. I don't practice this often in my relationships and that's where the You University assignment comes in handy: it's a reminder.
This exercise is a way to PRACTICE LOVE.
So, as my mind shifts day to day from feeling frustrated and victimized to grateful, at peace and more appreciative, I got inspired to buy my father (92 years old) a thank-you card. I wrote a list of all the things I'm grateful for that he does and is. I left the card in its envelope set at a place where I knew he'd find it while I went out.
When I came back later that evening, my dad didn't say anything...neither did I. On my bed I found a sweet little white envelope and inside was a handwritten note from my father. This is what he said:

Dear Savi: Thank you for your card. What you say in it touches me deeply. I want you to know that all I want is for you to be happy. I will help you all I can. You can be sure that all I do I do it with love. Thank you, dear Daughter, for helping me the way you're doing. It is greatly appreciated and I will never forget it. With love, your father, Savino

I can only guess, but I'm pretty certain my father felt love when he read my card. I felt his love when I read his note. These practices break down barriers we build around us. My father and I grow closer and more appreciative of each other with these practices. They seem like a game, but they work. Isn't that what we all want? To be loved? I'm learning to give it out, with little actions such as these....yet, they reach straight into the heart.

I have been reminded of who I am

2010-08-27T10:03:00.000-04:00

I have been reminded of who I am

Adrienne Summer: Mother Teresa 100 Years Old

2010-08-26T21:33:00.000-04:00

Adrienne Summer: Mother Teresa 100 Years Old

Perceiving Life as a School

2010-08-25T07:39:00.000-04:00

During one of my recent coaching sessions, I asked my client (which I'll call Jacob) for his perception of life.
Jacob's response was: life seems meaningless, a cycle of repetitive events. You're born, you grow up, go to school, get a career, you work all your life, get married, have kids, make money to give your family a better life, you grow old and you die. What's the point, he asks?
Yet, Jacob is a believer in God. He prays each day and is grateful for his blessings. So, what's happening here?
Oh, did he remind me of my own way of experiencing life until a few years ago.
I remember in my younger years, even though I believed in God, God felt very separate from me, very far away, very unfair, very responsible for all that was happening to me and in the world in general. I felt I had no say in what was happening TO me.
Until I had a spiritual awakening. I was searching for something more, for meaning. I was at a place similar to where Jacob is right now.
As I've walked my own path through the years, I've learned and experienced that God has been within me all along. I have stopped blaming God for all that happens.
There's a very deep and healing exercise in You University that has been key in changing my perception. This is Magic Secret # 1. Life is a school. The effectiveness of this exercise is it took me to my past, all of my life, and assisted me in finding a lesson in each life situation. This is not a lite, superficial exercise. It's more of a self-discovery one. There was a shift in my awareness of my life. That aha moment Oprah talks about, you know. The deep questions I was to ask myself: What did each event teach me? How did I grow from them? How was it important in my overall journey?
When I listened to Jacob's perception of life, I knew then and there that one of my goals as his life coach is to point him in that direction of looking for what he's learned in each situation and how it has helped to form who he is today. This knowledge will empower him to realize he is not a victim, but a creator of his own life.
Life coaching is a purposeful and growth-provoking vocation. I heal as I teach others to heal.

Having Emotional Wellness

2010-08-23T12:19:00.000-04:00

Having Emotional Wellness

Tools for Releasing Worry

2010-08-22T09:57:00.000-04:00

My mood is very affected by my thoughts and beliefs. Worry is a bad habit I've had all my life. I inherited it, from my parents, the news, coworkers, etc.
I know now these thought patterns led me right into anxiety, panic attacks, and then depression.
Today, it's a different story. A shift happened within me. I learned that worry is about control and control is about fear. What I was most afraid of, what caused me the most anxiety, you know what it was? Myself. I have been afraid of trusting myself. If I can't trust myself, which is where I AM, then I live in constant fear. I would search outside myself for validation and security, and I wanted others to tell me what I should do. I had such a hard time making decisions for myself.
Worry is a hard habit to break. The shift has been a process. First and most important was knowing, really knowing, that God is always with me, within me. I shifted from seeing God as condemning and aloof, to God within me, accepting me just as I am.
Second, accepting myself JUST AS I AM. I faced shame-based beliefs I had about myself and worked with them instead of suppressing them. I understood that I am unique and important to the greater whole (purpose). I have given myself permission to feel feelings that were lost inside of me for years. I have faced my fears and seen them as just a part of me that I need to work with and not against.
Third, give myself permission to walk my own path. I asked myself, what do I want? What makes me feel whole and alive?
This shift did not happen automatically, nor on its own. I was willing to do the work. No more excuses. I wanted once and for all to feel alive and be Me. I did the work, and am still going strong at it. This is a moment to moment event. Life. It's always changing, I'm always learning, and this results in my growth and expansion.
There is no one thing that got me to this place. A combination of life tools I've learned and applied. These have been the most life changing:
--My relationship with God
--Religion (the Bible) then spirituality (A Course in Miracles, Zen, Reiki), yes, there's a difference
--Many, many, many self-help books and using the tools in them
--Prayer, affirmations, meditation
--Ongoing exercise
--Journaling
--Very good friends, the kind that support you and love you for who you are, and tell you the frieking truth (I have a few of these, plus my coaching support group)
--A life coach, one that is committed to your growth and is honest and that I relate to. I cannot relate to someone who just sits and listens. I need relationship. I need to know that the coach has been there, done that. For me this is important.
--I did and am doing the healing work. I have taken the challenge to resolve my past issues and move forward. (You University Program)
As a result of the above, a shift in perception has resulted. I see everything as an opportunity to learn about myself. I realize I'm not a victim. I've always had the power to choose. I am responsible.
It feels soooo good.

Knowing When It's Time to Let Go

2010-08-21T13:21:00.000-04:00

Why I Won't Call an Old Friend One More Time

What You University Represents to Me

2010-08-17T21:32:00.000-04:00

You University Life Coach Training Program. It’s a self-development and coach training program created by Maia Berens, my life coach for the past 3 years.

I met her on the web while searching for info on life coaching. I wanted to hire a life coach and at the same time become one. I was so confused with so many certification schools, and different costs….it was a bit overwhelming.

I found and read Maia’s site. It was as if she and I were having a friendly yet deep conversation. Do you call that connection? I guess. I felt I had to contact this lady. Well, we connected by email, by phone, and I hired her as my coach.

I’ve grown to love, respect, admire and trust Maia. Just a few months ago I took on the challenge to become a life coach. I trained with Maia using her You University program. This is much more than a training course to acquire a certification. It’s a school. It’s a healing and self discovery tool. I can say many things about it.

To realize that this material is Maia’s life experience poured into words and assignments and anecdotes and teachings is awing. There is so much wisdom and care and yes, love, in each section of the program. It’s an in- depth and healing material. It gently guides you to work through your deepest wounds and feelings, healing guilt, shame, and resentment, all the time supported by Maia and her intuitive mentoring. I truly feel transformed. I’m not exaggerating nor trying to promote here. I’m sharing a truly transforming experience for me.

Today I am a You University Life Coach ready to guide others through this transformational journey of their own.

Connecting With Those We Serve

2010-08-17T20:21:00.000-04:00

A few days ago I took my dad (you probably already know he's 92 from my other post) to the podiatrist for his regular foot hygiene check up, you know, grooming his toe nails, and so forth. When my father's turn came, he was escorted to one of the many rooms in the office by an assistant...I went with him. She didn't say much to him, just prepared his feet, cut his toe nails and left.
After a short waiting period, the doctor came in, didn't even look at my father in the face, didn't say hello, just cut to the chase, I mean to the feet, to work on his callus. There was no connection, no conversation, nothing. The doctor didn't say a word to me either. He came in, did his stuff, and left.
What's up with that? I sat there observing the whole scenario a bit surprised, I must say. I made a note right there to blog about this.
Is this what this guy went who knows how many years to college for? To treat people like they're invisible? Maybe he was having a rough day, I don't know. But the impression and feeling I got from him was not a good one. This is a doctor I would not go back to.
I think people who deal with people as a profession definitely need people skills. Right? This doctor maybe needs a life coach to help him get in touch with his inner child, or uncover his true feelings so he learns to relate and connect with those he chose to serve.

Willingness

2010-08-16T13:58:00.000-04:00

Willingness

Lessons from my Aging Father

2010-08-15T20:50:00.000-04:00

There's a lesson to be learned in every experience.

I've been living with my father for the past 4 years. He's 92 right now. My mom passed away just 2 months after I came to Miami to recuperate from a separation (and later divorce).

It was really hard for me because first, after losing my mom, he went into a very deep depression. He stopped watching tv and no radio. All his relatives of his generation have passed away.

My dad has 3 big dogs, which he loves and lets them do whatever they want around the house. Here I was, wanting to care for my dad while he was concentrated on his three kids, I mean dogs. There was no way I could keep a loop on the house, keeping it clean and good smelling. He is an organized man, so, he keeps things in place, but please, 3 dogs 24/7 in the house?

I became resentful and angry towards him. I felt he cared more for those dogs than he did for me. I'd complain all the time to anybody who would listen.

As time went by, well, I'm still here. When push comes to shove, he is my father....he's been a good one at that. This time together has helped me know him and myself better and understand aspects of aging that I never knew before.

My Dad has taught me:

You slow down with age. I watch him sometimes and he pitter patters around the house, doesn't walk briskly anymore like he used to. Slowing down means he observes more what's in front of him. He absorbs life more, there is no more "future"....it's all about today. That's all he has at this stage in life. LIVE IN THE NOW.

Another lesson.....at this end stage, you must learn to release control and trust God and those around you. It can be scary, but it's a relief also....and God's wise way of preparing us for departure. RELEASE AND TRUST.

Keep things in their place and don't move them around. One needs a certain security and familiarity with their surroundings. Your senses are weak and dull by this time. You need to get around knowing where everything is. FAMILIARITY.

After caring for someone for so long (my mother), he needs these dogs to feel needed and useful. They give him purpose and they don't argue back. They just love him. PURPOSE.

Don't make him feel disabled or useless. I don't try to help him when he still can do things for himself. CAPABLE AND USEFUL.

I honestly am trying to put myself in my father's place, but I've never experienced his level of loneliness and disability. I am understanding God's loving purpose for this experience. For both of us. We have grown closer and I am more compassionate towards him.

I Embrace Life

2010-08-12T14:01:00.000-04:00

This morning I wake up and embrace Life. I know God is always with me.

I am a great Life Coach.

I have abundance of all good.

My coaching practice flourishes and overflows.

Our coaching practice flourishes and overflows.

We are a strong, loving, energetic, positive force in the world

We are healing and as we heal, we heal those around us.

I know what to say, when to say it because I am guided.

In our group, we complement each other because our talents and skills are so vast when joined together. The sum of the all is greater that is separate parts.

People with the financial capacity and willingness to commit are coming into our program.

We have, each of us, as individuals and also as a group, an infinite flow of clients being coached, helped, healed, trained. Our organization is growing. It is organized. Our vision remains.

And so it is!!

Edit

The Universe is Always Communicating

2010-08-10T07:52:00.000-04:00

More and more I notice how alive and personal the Universe is. It communicates with me, if I'm aware and paying attention.

This morning as I was getting my coffee in the kitchen I was meditating on my situation. Is it time to job hunt? This "voice" inside me is an old voice, it's the voice of logic, of security, and yes, maybe reality.

As I played with this thought, I saw the Miami Herald headline for today: Florida Sees Independent on the Rise.....when I read that, I "felt" in my gut that this message was for me and a response to that logical question. I can't prove it, I just felt it.

In order to be open to these "messages", I must quiet the "logical" voice within me and listen more with my spiritual self AND TRUST IT. There is peace when I abide by the Spirit. I don't feel fear or anxiety....but, I maintain a balance between the two voices...not shut either of them out. There is a certain logic to the "logic" voice.

So, today, I continue focusing on moving forward with my purposeful goal:

create great income working from home
I am my own boss, independent
I am a successful You University Life Coach
I am part of an organization that exists to help people and better the world, You University
I work with like-minded people
I grow and learn new skills and have new experiences

I understand this is my answer today to this morning's question.

Thank you God!

I Love

2010-08-07T11:58:00.000-04:00

I would not change who I am for anything. I love the self discovery journey I'm on, with it's due pain and the healing of the wounds. I love my children just as they are. In their own uniqueness and struggles, they have taught me so much about love and life and forgiveness.

I love each and everyone of my friends for they are important in my self knowledge. They mirror back to me different parts of Me. I love Me, which is a new emotion for me. Well, I'm learning to. As I embrace all of my parts, I see they are all ok, they are all Me. I love my 92 year old father who has taught me more about Life and Me in these past few years than all of our life together before. I love God for giving me the opportunity to experience. To Be.

Crystal Church Talks about You University Coach Training Program.

2010-08-05T21:15:00.000-04:00

Self Acceptance

2010-08-02T15:14:00.001-04:00

My love has always been tainted with guilt, shame and low self esteem. I've heard for ever that in order to love others, I first need to love and accept myself. I almost seems like a cliche.
We live in a shame-based society. I was compared to better grade students @ school. At home my brother was a better son than I was a daughter, and my mom was not shy to frequently repeat this to me. That was her perception, but I believed it. Advertisements were constantly telling me I should be this tall, that skinny, this type of hair, and so forth. Too much stress. How can I meet up to all these illusory standards?
I didn't grow thinking I was ok just as I was. My parents didn't feel that way about themselves either, so they had no way to provide me with acceptance and unconditional love. I learned I was defected and that love had to be earned. That was the message.
This is what I brought to my relationships throughout my life. I was ashamed of who I was, so I created a false self. I tried so hard to be the best I could be.
Of course I've had intimacy issues for fear of revealing my true self, which I believed was insufficient.
There's a good side to this story. Actually, it's all good, because it's all served as a growth process.
Along the way, I've met some wonderful people. I have really good friends that have mirrored back to me love and acceptance. I've developed a deep love relationship with God as my Creator based on trust and surrender through my spiritual studies. Today I belong to a caring and open journaling community where I can share my feelings freely without fear of condemnation. I interact with other like minded people.
I've also taken up a coach training program called You University. It's a coach training program but also a self-development program. The tools in this program have really turned my life around....my inner life. This change is affecting my outer life too. I am finally learning self love and self acceptance.

Know me Better

2010-08-02T11:22:00.000-04:00

Helping, motivating and teaching are natural to me. Even as a little girl, I’d play with my dolls sitting them as my audience and I in front teaching them (something). Psychology was the profession of my dreams; but I chose business and have worked as an Administrative Professional in the corporate world for more than 25 years.

I have been successful in my own terms as an Admin. This career has permitted me to use many of my talents and gifts as support staff. I’ve created opportunities during my work experience to act as a Human Resources Coordinator, a supervisor for a Sales staff in a pharmaceutical, an office manager for an immunologist. I thank many of my supervisors who saw my potential and gave me the opportunity. I did not disappoint them, or myself. Always, the desire to support, to help to motivate was webbed into every task, every responsibility I was met with.

I was born and grew up in NYC during the 1960s and 70s. I would not change this for the world. But, by the time I was 18 and fresh out of high school, my parents and I moved to Dominican Republic. They wanted to be close to their family. This change was painfully difficult for me to adapt to. It was almost like being born into a whole new environment and culture.

I’ve had my own issues with depression, anxiety, panic attacks, which were a motivator for me to read hundreds of books and material on human behavior and self help. I was always learning new and better tools to cope with my own negative habits and fears which I learned in my family of origin. Suffice to say my childhood was difficult and traumatic.

I got married to a macho Dominican (didn’t want to see the red flags). The difference in our ways of seeing a woman’s role clashed. I was full of insecurities and fears and became codependent to my husband, trying to fit into that culture. He turned into an abuser, and I let him. I exposed my children to a traumatic childhood, just as I had experienced….even though I swore I wanted the best for them.

Being a full time working mother of three and married to an abusive husband only intensified my fears and I desperately needed to find inner peace and outer stability. I then found religion which filled my life with certain peace and a closer relationship to God. As the years went by, I have progressed to a broader understanding of God and myself through the study and practice of spirituality.

After my children became adults, I took the courageous step of divorcing my second husband and moved back to the US to start a new life. I continued on my healing path, away from abuse and self loathing. I’ve had many wonderful teachers and angels along the way. But when I finally met Maia Berens, we immediately connected and she’s been vital to helping me discover my own truth within myself. Through her expert coaching and wise support, I understood this is THE time for me to follow my dream.

Even though I have been using my coaching talents most of my life, training with Maia through You University has provided me with tools that allow me to experience life from a place of empowerment vs. victimhood.

It all falls into place now. My experience in the School of Life coupled with the You University training and inner healing tools, has empowered me to grow and share these lessons with others, helping them find the strength and truth within themselves.

The Best Self Esteem Activities Are Just For You

2010-07-26T16:18:00.000-04:00

The Best Self Esteem Activities Are Just For You

The Law of Cause and Effect

2010-07-23T11:42:00.000-04:00

From the 12 Kaws of Karma:

The Great Law. “As you sow, so shall you reap”. This is also known as the law of cause and effect. Whatever we put out in the Universe is what comes back to us. If what we want is Happiness, Peace, Love and Friendship…..then we should be Happy, Peaceful, Loving and a True Friend.

*******************************************************************************

For most of my life, I’ve known about the Great Law. But just lately, by studying A Course in Miracles, and also working with the coach training program of You University and understanding that Life is a School, is that I am becoming clearer that this Great Law is about CAUSE AND EFFECT.

This revelation really made me aware that I am not a victim of life…but more so a creator of my circumstances as a result of my belief system, my thought habits, my choices. All of a sudden, my mindset has started to shift from complaining and feeling a victim of what’s out there, to asking myself: did I create this? Why? What do I need to learn about myself through this person or situation? I’m realizing it’s all about me, not them. I’m responsible. As a result, I feel I have grown and am much more empowered and strong, and happier too.

12 LAWS OF KARMA

2010-07-22T08:33:00.000-04:00

1. THE GREAT LAW

"As you sow, so shall you reap". This is also known as the "Law of Cause and Effect" Whatever we put out in the Universe is what comes back to us. If what we want is Happiness, Peace, Love and Friendship...Then we should BE Happy, Peaceful, Loving and a True Friend.

2. THE LAW OF CREATION

Life doesn't just HAPPEN, it requires our participation. We are one with the Universe, both inside and out. Whatever surrounds us gives us clues to our inner state. BE yourself, and surround yourself with what you want to have present in your Life.

3. THE LAW OF HUMILITY

What you refuse to accept will continue for you. If what we see is an enemy, or someone with a character trait that we find to be negative, then we ourselves are not focused on a higher level of existence.

4. THE LAW OF GROWTH

"Wherever you go, there you are". For us to GROW in Spirit, it is we who must change - and not the people, places or things around us. The only given we have in our lives is OURSELVES and that is the only factor we have control over. When we change who and what we are within our heart our life follows suit and changes too.

5. THE LAW OF RESPONSIBILITY

Whenever there is something wrong in my life, there is something wrong in me. We mirror what surrounds us - and what surrounds us mirrors us; this is a Universal Truth. We must take responsibility what is in our life.

6. THE LAW OF CONNECTION

Even if something we do seems inconsequential, it is very important that it gets done as everything in the Universe is connected. Each step leads to the next step, and so forth and so on. Someone must do the initial work to get a job done. Neither the first step nor the last are of greater significance, As they were both needed to accomplish the task. Past - Present – Future. They are all connected...

7. THE LAW OF FOCUS

You can not think of two things at the same time. When our focus is on Spiritual Values, it is impossible for us to have lower thoughts such as greed or anger.

8. THE LAW OF GIVING AND HOSPITALITY

If you believe something to be true, then sometime in your life you will be called upon to demonstrate that particular truth. Here is where we put what we CLAIM that we have learned, into actual PRACTICE.

9. THE LAW OF HERE AND NOW

Looking backward to examine what was, prevents us from being totally in the HERE AND NOW. Old thoughts, old patterns of behavior, old dreams...Prevent us from having new ones.

10. THE LAW OF CHANGE

History repeats itself until we learn the lessons that we need to change our path.

11. THE LAW OF PATIENCE AND REWARD

All Rewards require initial toil. Rewards of lasting value require patient and persistent toil. True joy follows doing what we're suppose to be doing, and waiting for the reward to come in on it's own time.

12. THE LAW OF SIGNIFICANCE AND INSPIRATION

You get back from something whatever YOU have put into it. The true value of something is a direct result of the energy and intent that is put into it. Every personal contribution is also a contribution to the Whole. Lack luster contributions have no impact on the Whole, nor do they work to diminish it. Loving contributions bring life to, and inspire, the Whole.

3 Magic Secrets

2010-07-20T12:25:00.000-04:00

I Am Where I'm Supposed to Be

2010-07-17T11:48:00.000-04:00

Every morning I get up, have my coffee, turn on my computer at home, check my emails, read all sorts of inspirational messages, journals, and articles. I respond to some of these and also write my own. At this time of my day, I also take time to organize my space, and to pray, meditate and just be with myself in quiet mode.

My computer desk is right in front of my bedroom window (for now, my office is in a shared space with the rest of my bedroom)…..I feel so content, so at ease, so happy with this lifestyle. I can see the sky and hear an airplane flying in the distance (a sound that produces always a freeing sensation in me).

I spend many hours of my day on the computer. I work on building my Life Coaching practice and study You University (my coach training and self-development program); I am creating connections on different social media sites and I am learning so much. And I’m home. I don’t have to get dressed in stuffy clothes, or get into my lovely Toyota (I have a loving relationship with my car…it’s been great to me) and drive for an hour to spend 8 hours sitting in front of someone else’s computer doing what someone else wants me to do.

As I am here, reading, writing, feeling fulfilled, many thoughts enter my mind. I’d call them “reality check” thoughts (I’m an idealist….so I don’t look at reality checks that gracefully). “You can’t do this forever, you need to get grounded and look for a job, you’re not making any income doing what you’re doing, think about when you will be on your own (I live with my elderly father at this time), there’s nobody who will take care of you, you need money, you need a secure (?) job, you need insurance,” etc., and the “what ifs” are rolling on and on.

I get uneasy and start to doubt myself at this point. But, I reach into my “faith in God” place that’s always with me. In that place I remember that I’ve always been taken care of. I’ve never lacked absolutely anything. I’ve been provided for just at the right time with just the right things.

I feel I am at a place in my life that feels just right. I could say I have an uncertain future….but who doesn’t? I plan to keep this way of living, I intend to have my own home just as I desire it where I can work from and enjoy. I trust that I am on the correct path, doing what I need to do, being where I am supposed to be.

The “reality checks” are always there and they serve their purpose for me. And so is the “faith in God” place. I prefer hanging out in the latter.

Life is a School

2010-07-14T14:03:00.000-04:00

Everyday, something happens that highlights this perspective. It's always little things, since my life is pretty flat lined right now. I mean, exciting things are happening, but it's mostly inside of me along with the seeds that I'm planting as I create the life I want to experience.
I am learning so many new things. There's a limitless world and universe out there. I didn't know this. I see now there are so many doors I can knock on, so much to learn, my growth can be infinite, unless I block it. What I mean is, for a long time I felt stuck. I felt stuck in the country I was living in, stuck in a spiritual community, stuck in my job/career.
From feeling stuck I got the courage to make huge changes. But, the changes didn't get me to where I thought I wanted to be. I was feeling stuck again. And then I felt anxious, and I felt there was something wrong with me. Could it be I didn't really know what I wanted?
From all this, Life itself, God, began providing gentle answers to my questions (because I never stopped asking). I was meeting people (my life coach, spiritually like-minded people), healing relationships, getting the help and support I needed for my anxiety and depression....all this was moving and guiding me to the place where I am right now. There is nothing, not one thing, in this path of mine, that I would change.
There's a difference now to how I perceive the stuckness. Before, it created frustration and complaining. Ongoing. My life now, it's not perfect (it never will be, that doesn't exist). It's interesting, though. It's been really hard at times. But, I have learned so much.

Life Coach

2010-07-10T18:13:00.000-04:00

This past week, two people have asked me about life coaching.

My father's dogs' veterinarian, who asked me what I do for a living, was one of them. I answered almost by default that I'm an administrative professional....then, I remembered, I’m not doing that anymore. I told him I was now building my life coaching business. Here came the question: and what is life coaching?

I realized I didn’t have a skit or a special line to respond with. I started to explain to the doctor in my own words. Oh, he raved that he has a sister that does that or something similar and she's fabulously successful. So, I realized I had done a good job at explaining myself (and he knew what life coaching was, just didn’t know it was called that).
My friend Vivian, who I went out with yesterday for a drink and good conversation, asked me how having a life coach had improved my life. I thought for a few seconds and I started talking away with Vivian. At that instant, I realized how much my life had changed:

I had worked at facing and finally healing many issues that haunted me for years;
How my relationships were changing;
How much happier and at peace I feel;
I trust myself so much more that I’m following my dream to be a life coach.

Then, I was surprised at how much Maia, my life coach for the past two plus years, has motivated and influenced me towards growth and self-discovery. I spoke with confidence and naturalness.

I'm very happy to be where I am at in life. I'm growing and accepting life and myself; I see each day as a new learning experience. I am confident I am just where I am supposed to be and this is what I am creating.

So, are you curious about what I answered the veterinarian? My role as a life coach is to assist my clients in seeing their truth, help them face and resolve the issues from their present or past that are blocking them from creating and living the life they want. I hold them accountable to their commitments; I mirror back to them what they need to see but may not want to see. I empower them. Having a life coach and being a life coach have made an huge difference in my life.

Have You Cried Lately?

2010-07-08T09:10:00.000-04:00

Crying is an outlet, a physical expression or manifestation of our feelings. I cry when I’m hurt. I cry when I’m sad. I cry when I’m angry or frustrated. I cry when I’m nostalgic. I cry when I’m joyous. I cry when I’m in love. Sometimes I cry when I make love. I cry when I feel love. I cry when I hold one of my granddaughters. I cry when I connect deeply with someone.

Have you cried lately? Do you know that crying is one of the best ways of releasing bottled up emotions? Just like laughter is. But, that’s another post.

While I meditated this morning, I saw myself as a little girl, curled up, afraid, like a prisoner. In this vision, my little girl was approached by my Real Self, a loving, grown up being. My Real Self gave my little girl permission to uncurl, to sit up. She told her she needn’t be afraid anymore. She assured her she was not alone. My Real Self glowed and was not totally solid, but more flowing. Come, I’m here, I sit with you. It’s ok. Let me listen to all you have to say. Release your shame. My Real Self reminded my little girl that my mother did the best she could. She reminded me that my mother did love me, and she was being her own best. As you can see here, I identify with my little girl. Still. I felt my Real Self inviting me to continue my metamorphosis process. Now is the time. It is time to break through the cocoon of fear and shame, and fly like the colorful butterfly that I truly am. My Real Self is with me on this path.

I cried. I processed many emotions during this meditation. I released a lot of sadness fear. All feelings. I feel lighter, better, clearer. I’ve carried all this stuff around all my life. I am processing, releasing. Self acceptance, along with all that that means. All the lessons that life has taught me. I look back and see them now. What I saw as shame and mistakes and labeled with pain and suffering are clearer to me today. This has been my unique path. It’s ok to feel. So, today I cried. And I was here for myself. It was a very good cry!!!

Being Present

2010-07-06T14:46:00.000-04:00

I love movies and always have. I learn a lot from movies. There’s always a message or lesson that the producer wants to communicate….just like art.

This morning, I decided to wash my car. I put it off for a while. It’s not a chore I like to do, really. I have to get all the stuff together I need to wash it, unscrew the hose from one faucet in the back yard and bring it to the front and screw it on to the other faucet. Then the hose gets all tangled and the water won’t come out….you know. Frustrating.

Just thinking about it makes me roll my eyes. But, I went to the task at hand. As I wet the car, then started to wash it with the sponge in my hand, dripping sweat from all over (me, not the car), I remembered the movie Karate Kid.

One of the first lessons for the student was to wax a car….slowly, thoroughly, one stroke at a time. Karate Kid was anxious and impatient for his first karate lesson. What the hell had this car waxing to do with learning martial arts?

I felt like Karate Kid washing my car. I was thinking….let me do this really fast and get it over with. I have so much to do on the computer….I felt stressed and anxious. So, I understood that if I FOCUS on washing the car, which is the task at hand, and do it with PRESENCE, it might be enjoyable. This was the lesson behind the car waxing. Focus, BE PRESENT, I control my mind not the other way around.

Needless to say, the car looked much, much cleaner and shinier than all the other times I had washed it. No missed spots, and I even took the time to wipe it dry. And, I put some Armor All on the tire thing. I had this feeling of accomplishment and peace. I put everything I had used away, too….with no rush. I’m doing it, I’m being it. Present. Patient.

Social Networking and more....

2010-07-05T14:01:00.000-04:00

I've been working @ home for three weeks now. I'm learning so much. I'm slow catching on to the social networking part. It's something I'm doing daily, networking. Connecting with other people on the net through the different sites. There are so many (people and sites). It's still confusing to me. There's Twitter, Cotweet, refollow, LinkedIn, MySpace, Stumble Upon, Digg.....and more. There's backlinks and sharing and short links and posts and blogs. Ufff. But, my team is patient with me and they guide me as they are knowledgeable on these topics.
Sometimes hear that little voice whispering inside me: what are you doing? You need to be looking for a JOB already. You have bills to pay. What if this or that happens? What if....what if....what if....the regular doubts and fears.
Still, I continue investing my time, my energy, my creativity and my work to All About Life Coaching and You University! I am in love with what we can do through this site and our personal development coaching program. I am involved with the business while simultaneously going through the You University program myself, so I know first hand that this program is true and has substance.
I am also very blessed to be part of a unique team of women that are investing all of themselves too to make this program/business a success. We are all committed and open with each other. We can share just about everything with each other. Our first example is Maia herself; she's my life coach, and founder of You University. She's opened the door of opportunity for us to own our own business and to create a purposeful and satisfying career.
There is no sense of competition among us. There's love and honesty and full support. We communicate constantly on the internet and by phone too.
What an opportunity!!

A Beatiful Letter From One Of My Clients

2010-07-05T09:31:00.000-04:00

A Beatiful Letter From One Of My Clients

Creating My Reality

2010-07-01T16:45:00.001-04:00

For the past few days I've spent many hours at home working from my computer. On Twitter, MySpace, FB, creating new relationships with other people out there....all interesting and unique and willing to connect. I have been so unaware of how much world there is out there to discover. Almost like being asleep.
Working for over 25 years in office settings in the corporate world, meaning....commuting to the same place, driving the same route, sitting @ the same desk and cubicle from 8:30 to 5:00, seeing the same people every single day, doing routine tasks....I am so over this now.
For many years I dreamed of having my own business, working from home, setting my own schedule, opening the gates of my creativity to flow and express myself in new ways. Purposeful and fulfilling work using my unique talents and abilities. That's what I want!!!
Finally, a few weeks ago I was laid off from work. At this precise time in my life, I have no debts, my kids are grown, I live with my elderly father and pay no rent. Synchronicity? Coincidence?
No....I see it as a new opportunity in my life to realize this desire in my heart. I didn't provoke the lay off, but I did have something to do with creating this situation just at this precise time.
I have a choice to start freaking out, worry about my future, my financial situation, etc. That's not what I choose to focus on. I believe I am on the right path living out my purpose. It takes faith in myself and in God to trust this process. It takes commitment to keep on going and learning so many new business concepts that I have little or no knowledge of. But I'm growing. I'm creating my reality, I'm learning, I'm becoming a new Me. I am proud of myself.

Secret #3: My Cup Runneth Over

2010-06-29T12:40:00.000-04:00

This is about gratitude. For so many years I have heard the importance of being grateful...but it somehow was not a practice I took to continuously....some times, yes.
After working on You University for a while, starting to see life as a school, not seeing myself as a victim anymore, my perception started to shift. With my friend indeed's help and support, I naturally began to feel lighter, happier, and each day I became aware of the simple and infinite things I had in my life to be grateful for. The shower, my health, my family, air conditioning, being able to choose my meals, walk and move my body painlessly, so so much....that I took for granted. I'm a better person to be around with, even for myself. I like life, I see life now as an experience and not as a struggle.

2010-06-26T17:51:00.000-04:00

Secret #2: A Friend In Deed
Maia, my friend in deed, is always present to support me on my life journey. She mirrors back to me what I need to know to heal and to grow in self trust. She's trustworthy, honest, motivates and inspires me to be the best I can be. She also reminds me of my commitments so I don't fall into procrastination. Do you have a friend in deed? It's necessary to have a support....not wise to do it alone.

The Three Magic Secrets: #1

2010-06-25T14:01:00.000-04:00

Secret #1: Life is a School

My whole life I have used the tools I learned to cope with life's challenges and difficulties:

complain, feel like a victim of circumstances, blame others for my misery.

At the beginning of my life coach training program, I learned three very wise secrets. By practicing their application in my everyday life, my mood, my relationships and my outlook on life itself are happier and healthier.

The first secret, Life is a School, helps me perceive life's events as lessons. Now, whenever a challenge arises, I ask myself: what can I learn from this? What is this situation mirroring back to me about myself? How did I participate in creating this?
Guess what? I complain less, life has more meaning, more purpose, I know myself much better now. Next, Secret #2.

Progressing in my Life Coach business

2010-06-24T15:11:00.000-04:00

I am proud of myself. I am more focused, more involved in our coaching business, All About Life Coaching.com, and this inspires my creativity. All of a sudden I am writing and social networking and coming up with new ideas for the program. I do have many talents that have been dormant for so many years because of the work I was doing.
Don’t get me wrong, being an Administrative Assistant is almost like being a mother/housewife…..only it’s in an office scenario. But it still is limiting if you don't always have a mentor as a boss. I have had very few of these in my career.
Now have a wonderful mentor, Maia Berens. She's great coaching, teaching and mentoring. And, I am a great learner.

Self Observation

2010-06-23T09:27:00.000-04:00

Self observation

Last night I went to bed when I felt sleepy, not with an imposed schedule. I decided to wake up this morning when I woke up, and not at a set time. I slept peacefully and woke up at 7:30 am.

I notice a voice within me that pushes me saying: you have to do this, you have to do that. This silly yet imposing inner voice creates anxiety in me.It almost feels like guilt, and rush. Its byproduct is stress. When I'm drinking my coffee in the morning, I feel its rush to get up, get moving, you have to do all these things....and the present enjoyment fades.

Now that I'm on no one's schedule but my own, since I'm not working at an office and don't have to be somewhere at someone else's time, I need to learn to enjoy my freedom and be present with whatever task I have at the moment.

For sooooo many years I've had to live within a schedule and rush around and not be late, and beat traffic, etc., that I feel guilty that I'm enjoying this new lifestyle.

Another thing this voice whispers to me is this: don't get used to this because it's not going to last very long. Start looking for work, time is passing by, you need to produce. I need to write a love letter to this voice.

And, this is a good post for the journal site and my blog.

Thanks for being here for me, ladies. I love you.

How committed am I to myself and to my Life Coaching business?

2010-06-20T21:38:00.000-04:00

I was just laid off from my job and my last day was May 28^th. I’ve been working as an employee in different companies for more than 30 years. I have been looking forward to this time off in order to dedicate more of my time and energy to building my life coaching business and to be more involved in a life coach training school program, You University, with my life coach and its founder, Maia Berens, and a team of 3 other life coaches. I am very excited about this.

Instead, I tooke a two week vacation and visited my kids, grandkids and close friends in Dominican Republic. I just got back last week, and two days later, one of my daughters came to Miami to do shopping for her upcoming wedding. Five busy days, driving all over the place.

Of course, I had little to no time to work at my business.

Why was I doing this? I have just taken 3 weeks time away from something that I claim is extremely important to me. Not that time with family for me isn’t a priority, but I have to ask myself these questions.

Am I sabotaging myself by creating situations that call my attention elsewhere so I don’t focus on my true desires?
If I had a job, would I have taken all this time off?
How serious am I about creating my business?
How much effort and time am I willing to dedicate to make it a reality? How committed am I to this?
Am I again putting others’ wants and needs before my own?

The answers can only be found within myself. I can let fear of succeeding or failing sabotage me, or continue to go for what I want.

My First Post

2010-06-15T19:58:00.000-04:00

This is my first post! Aleluyah. I am thankful to my coaching group who have motivated and supported me to this very place I am at today. I feel joyful, excited, a little scared, but most of all, grateful to God and all those who walk with me on this new journey. A journey to be Me, to leave behind the corporate world and embrace the challenge of becoming a Life Coach. My dream is coming true.